I need a little more Obama and less in Insomnia

When I look around this place I am, it's echoed white walls and minimal provisions, I am reminded of what I am. Who I have built myself to be over the past year. All my life has been compiled of this tiny, two roomed little cave I live in. I have given up every hope of youth I had left. I live off my meager salary as shift manager and I live off nearly nothing. It's like a movie about a teen age run-away that left home to chase her dreams. Is my life nearly a story of film proportions that has remained unwritten.. I wish it had a happy ending. I hope I can advance. I want to chase every dream I could ever fathom. Meet new people and create something that touches lives. I want to become successful. Maybe kids can wait a decade or so. I'm 19, my ovaries are strong.

I've gone through a lot of stress lately. It's been taken out on far too many people. Everyone I love and I'm starting to push them away again. I'm forcing my family and friends to travel to see me. But soon, when the earth warms, my heart will melt and I will spend every last minute of my days to stretch myself and spend a bit of my week with you all. I hate this bitter cold. I just wish to hide inside under the covers all day and never come out. It's making me a bitch to be around and I cause anger and negativity to fill rooms. Robot Heather comes out at work, where I don't really seem friendly or caring around peers but customers see professionalism in me... at ARBY'S. In spring I am so friendly and happy and the sun makes me smile, the rain makes me dance, and everything smells so good. But I'm trying to work on it.

Sleep is calling and I must answer it.

Sweet Dreams

Lady